Depression

People these days use the word "depression" way too much.

"I forgot to bring my wallet! I'm depressed!"
"I'm so depressed right now. I still have too much homeworks to do."

The word slowly loses its real meaning. The word "depression" somehow turned into something normal.

That it's normal to be depressed.
For eventually, somehow, everyone will get depressed, right?

Now, let's turn back time for a little bit.

Just about a month ago, I got depressed.
And no.
No, I'm not exaggerating.

I have a huge problem.

It started, like, around 6 years ago.
But I somehow managed to survive all those stressful years.
Until last month.

Last month, I cried. A lot.
I cried before I sleep.
I cried while I was studying.
Once, I even cried when I was eating.

It's hard for me. I'm tearing up just because of writing this.
Yes, it's that hard for me.

Then one day, I decided that I've had enough. I've waited for those 6 damn years and nothing good ever happened. It's still the same.

I couldn't wait for another 6 years with no guarantee that a miracle will somehow pop out in my life.
I just couldn't. I've had enough.

I really thought that I should kill myself.

Cutting my veins will do.
And it will be less hurtful, I think.

But before I do it, I talked to one of my best friends about my problems.
I thought, if I die, at least someone will have to know why.

Luckily, she succeed into making me to think twice and not to kill myself.
Or else, you won't even be able to read this post right now.

This may sounds easy for you. But believe me, I'm a hella stubborn girl.
It's a miracle that she could talk me out of it.

I'm telling you my story not because I want to be pitied or such.

I just want to tell you. That if you are having a hard time right now. Never, for God's sakes, keep it to yourself.
I repeat, never.

Talk about your problems to your friends. To your family members. Anyone.
It helps a lot. Trust me.

This may not sound convincing. But trust me, it helps.

If you really have no one to talk to, just talk to me (okay this sounds weird). But really. I'll welcome you with open arms.

Depression is not an unimportant case. It's severe.
I've been through it. Heck, I'm still getting through it.

It's not easy. But I swear that things will get better tomorrow.

But what if it's not?

Then you say it again tomorrow. Because things might get better. You'll never know.
At some point, tomorrow will be better.
:)

-JElim